Second Chances
by alexinwonderlandd
Summary: Jasper and Alice were 'the' couple for their entire teenaged lives, envied by everyone for the perfect relationship, until Alice abruptly ends things days before leaving for college, turning Jasper's world upside down. Just when Jasper thinks his life may be back on track, Alice reappears and makes him question everything. Can he forgive her, or will she just leave again?


I've had the idea for this story for a while now and I finally succumbed to writing it as a distraction from my other story (Box Full of Sharp Objects *shameless self plug*), which I've been dealing with a fair amount of writing block on. So I figured I'd change things up a little and do a Jasper/Alice story, which I hope you all enjoy!

I can't promise immediate updates because my life is very up in the air right now, but I will be doing my best if this gets any interest, so let me know what you think!

As usual, I don't claim to own anything here but the plot and the laptop I'm writing it on. Onwards!

**Chapter One **

_I'm sick of second chances_

_Cigarettes turn to ashes_

_I'm standing under street signs_

_To know the places I've been my whole life_

_I watch the hours pass us_

_Another one burns to ashes_

_I'm waiting for your phone call_

_To come and save me so you can break my fall_

_~ Second Chances – October Fall_

_**Five years ago**_

"Jasper, we need to talk."

"Not now darlin', I love this song! Just dance with me."

"No, Jazz. _We need to talk." _

Ominous words if I've ever heard any. I looked over at Alice and I could tell she wasn't messing around. I just didn't know what could be so important that she would want to interrupt her own going away party. Alice was big on parties, especially her own. Since she was leaving for college in New York in a few days, this would be the last big get together she would be able to have with all of her friends.

With me.

I was staying here in Forks to look after my mum financially for a year so she could get back on her feet since Dad died four months ago. Alice had been quick to offer to defer her acceptance to NYU until I would be able to join her, but I could see the longing in her eyes to leave this place. It wasn't that she didn't like being in Forks, Alice was just built for bigger things. She was destined to design and model her way to the top. I had insisted she go and I would follow once I got everything sorted out at home. The idea had been perfect, with both of us agreeing to save money each month to be able to afford flights to see one another. We were going to make this work. She was the love of my life, and even though it killed me to send her away, I could see that keeping her here, even just for a year, would only cause resentment in the long term. So I told her to go.

"What's wrong?"

"We just need to talk. Now. Come on, let's find somewhere quiet."

She took my hand in her tiny grasp and led me out of her large house into a secluded side of her mother's expansive gardens, away from the thudding music. Finding a stone bench, we sat down, neither of us saying a word, the ambiance of the night surrounding us. Whatever she wanted to say seemed to be nagging at her. She was biting the corner of her lip, a telltale Alice sign that she needed to say something.

"Do you remember when we met?"

The question was out of the blue and it brought back the memory of the day I first laid eyes on my sweetheart. "Of course I do. I remember like it was yesterday."

"Hmm. But it wasn't yesterday, it was almost seven years ago." She looked pensive as she twisted the silver sapphire ring I had gotten her for our two-year anniversary around her finger.

"I know, it's weird, it doesn't seem like that long." I didn't know what was wrong, but I was starting to get a bad feeling.

"Yeah, that's true. But sometimes it sorta does."

"Alice, what's wrong? You're acting odd."

She looked up into my eyes, "Its just... I don't know, we've been together for so long Jasper. So long. I can't even remember what I did everyday before I met you."

"That's what makes us great though."

"Haven't you ever wondered what it would be like though? To be with a completely new person? The thrill of finding out the little things about them, their middle name, where their parents were born, how they like their coffee?" She turned to look off into the night in the direction of the house full of people wishing their friend a goodbye.

"No?" I answered honestly. "I know all those things about you. You're middle name is Alice, you're mother was born in Chicago, and you're father in London and you don't like coffee. You prefer tea, white with exactly one and three quarter sugars. I loved finding those things out, why would I need to think about being with someone new?" I was utterly perplexed at why she was asking me these questions.

"I know Jazz, I loved finding out those things about you too. It's just..."

"Just what Alice?" I was beginning to get a hard edge in my voice. I didn't like where I thought this was going.

"I just don't know anything but you Jasper! I'm almost nineteen and I've never been with anyone else!" She said with an exasperated sigh.

"Is that what this is about Alice? Sex? The fact that you've never fucked anyone but me? Is that such a terrible thought?"

"No, Jazz. It's not about sex. I'm talking about the fact that you're really the only person I know. Like really know. You're the centre of my world Jasper, but I think I need to branch out. This could be my big break, New York!" I could see the stars in her eyes as she talked about the city. This really could be her big break, but I didn't understand why, suddenly, I wasn't in that picture anymore. "I feel like this might be my only chance to start over, completely afresh, ya'know?"

"No, Alice, I don't know. What exactly are you telling me?" I could feel the anger start to rise in my chest, and it was starting to show in my voice.

"I'm so sorry Jasper..." Her voice trailed off into a whisper, and she avoided looking into my eyes.

"Say it Ali... Say it, or I won't believe it." Traitorous tears were starting to pool in my eyes. She couldn't be doing this. It had to be some sort of sick joke.

"I think we should break up..." I barely heard her voice, as it was so small, the faint sound of the pounding music in the distance almost drowned it out. "I'm so, so sorry..."

Hearing the words pass her lips, I had to get up and away from her. I stood up from the stone bench and went to walk away, turning at the last moment to look at her. "I'm sorry I couldn't be enough." My voice wavered and I knew I had to leave before I lost what little composure I had left. I was close to my breaking point and I knew if I didn't turn and leave I wouldn't be able to. Taking one last look at the woman that had held my heart in her delicate hands, I turned my head and walked away. I couldn't hear, I couldn't think, I just walked. My whole body felt numb and my brain refused to process what had just happened. It would hit me at some point, I was sure, but for now I made my way back to the house, not feeling.

"Jasper, man, where've you been? You're missing the party, Alice sure knows how to throw 'em hey?" I didn't know who was talking to me, I didn't have it in me to find out, I just walked with determination to a destination that I didn't know yet.

Pushing through the dancing people all gathered on the Cullen's expansive back deck that backed onto the garden I made my way into the house, not really quite sure where I was going. Somehow I made it to the upstairs balcony that over looked the forest behind the house, though I had no recollection of climbing the stairs. Pushing aside the sliding glass door that matched the rest of the exterior of the house I stepped out on the balcony only to find my best friend sucking on my twin sisters neck. It didn't really come as a surprise to me, I had known that Emmett had a crush on Rosalie for months now; I just didn't know she took any interest in him.

Upon hearing my arrival, they jumped apart to see who had caught them. Emmett looked more afraid that I would react, which was insane seeing as he was almost half again my size. I took in the two of them knowing I probably should react somehow, but it was like every ounce of energy had been drained from my body. I simply walked forward and leant my elbows on the railing next to where they where standing, arms still around one another. I could see both of them looking at me curiously as if they were waiting for something to happen.

"Holy shit, Jazz, are you crying?" I felt my sister's hand on my shoulder, but her voice sounded far away. I couldn't feel tears on my face, but that wasn't any indication of whether they had slipped past without my permission. "Oh, fuck, you are. What happened?"

It was like once my body had stopped walking I had been frozen in this position. Everything in me just stopped. I had allowed my body to stop moving, and I was numb. I just stared out into the forest and let the tears that I couldn't seem to be able to stop slip silently down my cheeks.

I felt strong hands gently pulling my body into one of the whicker chairs that were sat on the balcony. Emmett sat in a chair across from me, with Rosalie knelt down in front of me.

"Jazz, what's going on?" Even in my numb state I could hear the blatant concern in her voice.

"I need you to take me home," was the only thing I said, my voice barely audible, especially over the music from downstairs.

"Sure, okay. I'll go get my keys. Em, could you take him to the car?" God bless her, she didn't even question the fact that I had been planning on staying the night here, instead just seeing that, more than anything, I needed to get away from this place.

Rosalie rushed off downstairs, but not before giving me a concerned look. Emmett stood and pulled me up from the chair he had sat me in, and I was consciously aware of being surprised that I hadn't collapsed under my own weight.

"Come on Jay, let's get you home okay?" Emmett put arm around his large shoulders and more dragged than lead me downstairs towards the Cullen's spacious garage. I was aware of a few people asking what wrong with me, with Emmett replying that I had had a little too much to drink. I was thankful for that.

Emmett guided me into the back seat of the car, Rosalie already waiting in the seat beside me. Emmett jumped in the driver's seat, grabbed the keys and started the ignition, using Rosalie's garage door opener to lift the massive roller door behind us. I sat silently, not moving as Emmett backed the car out and made his way out of the Cullen's residence.

We'd been driving for a good ten minutes before Rose shattered the silence that hung in between the three of us. My head rested against the cool glass and I stared out into the blackness of the night, trees rushing past the window, too fast to make out any details. "Jasper, what's going on? Is this because Alice leaves the day after tomorrow?"

As much as I tried I couldn't hold back the single sob that broke through my failing resolve at the mention of her name. A choked 'no' was the only word I was able to get out, though it was barely audible over the sound of the engine.

"Then what? What happened sweetie?" Rosalie's concern was comforting, but I couldn't make my mouth say the words I needed to.

_It's over. _

Even thinking those words was enough to break the dam walls completely and I broke down into sobs. I didn't want to talk, I didn't want to think. I buried my face in Rosalie's shoulder and continued to cry.

I'm not sure how long I cried while Rose threaded her fingers through my hair and whispered nothings to try to get me to calm down, but before I knew we were sitting in the drive way of Emmett's place. The rain was coming down now, heavy enough to soak through the shoulders of Emmett's shirt as he opened my door and tried to coax me out of the car.

"C'mon bro, lets get you inside." Emmett was the happiest person I knew, and almost nothing brought him down, so his furrowed brow and the blatant concern in his voice made me feel guilty. When I didn't move he pulled me out of the car and slung my arm over shoulders again, dragging me up the drive.

"I can walk Em..." My voice sounded small and pathetic, and Emmett ignored me anyway, continuing to pull me along, Rosalie not far behind us.

Once we were inside Emmett dumped me down on his couch before walking off to change his shirt. I stared blankly at the living room before my eyes came to rest on the picture frames on the bookshelf next to the TV. Emmett had various candid shots of friends and family, but only one caught my eye. It was from about a year ago, taken at a party held by Ben Crowley, a friend of Emmett's and mine. In the frame Alice was laughing at a joke that someone had told, unaware that the camera had been on her. I had my arms wrapped around her tiny waist, kissing her cheek as she laughed. I deftly stood up and walked over to the bookshelf while Rosalie was in the kitchen getting me water. Memories came back in waves as when I picked up the photo frame. How I wished I could go back to that night, go back and be that kid again. Maybe if I had a second shot at it I might be able to stop this happening.

This really is happening. It really is over.

Pain flooded back ten-fold and I sunk to the floor, the frame still in my hands. The reality hit me with full force as I began to think of how this would change everything. Alice was my life, without exaggeration, I lived and breathed for her. That's not to say I was some lovesick fool, our relationship wasn't perfect and we fought over small things every now and then, but I had truly thought we would go the distance. She was the one. I wanted to have a future with her, not just a past. I'd been so sure she felt the same way, and I couldn't understand why she no longer did. Did she change her mind, or did she never really see herself growing old with me?

Had I loved her more than she'd loved me?

Hugging the frame to my chest, I let the tears roll down my face now; it was useless to try to stop them. Emmett and Rose came back into the room after one another and saw me on the floor. Without saying a word they both sat on the floor either side of me and waited, presumably for me to explain. Taking a shuddered breath, I tried to gather my thoughts enough to give them an explanation.

"It's over," was all I managed at first. They exchanged an understandably confused look.

"What's over, Jazzy?" Rose pushed my hair back out of my face, forcing me to see her. Alice had been on me for weeks to get my hair cut because it was getting long, falling almost to my chin at the moment. I bit the bullet and did my best to explain with my voice shaking as bad as it was.

"Us. Alice and I. We're over." I wiped the tears from my face and tried to regain some semblance of composure.

"What do you mean Jay? You said you were staying together when she moved? Sure it'll be hard, but you two will be fine, it'll only be for a year." Emmett thought I was upset over her leaving. I understood his position; he loved Alice and had said on multiple occasions that he was jealous of our relationship. No one had thought we would breakup, especially me.

"She ended it. Tonight. She dumped me, just before I found you two."

"What? How- I mean- I thought you had sorted everything- she told me you two- what happened?" Rosalie couldn't get her words straight as she stumbled thought the information I had just shared.

"She took me out the garden and broke up with me. She said she wanted to start afresh in New York and to do that she couldn't still be with me. I wasn't enough for her."

"But- no! You're Alice and Jasper, you are made for each other! If you can't make it, who the fuck can?" Emmett's voice was starting to rise with disbelief. To be honest I sort of sympathized with his anger. I was asking my self the exact same questions.

"I don't know. What am I supposed to do now?"

"What exactly did she say Jazzy?" I could tell the news was making her more concerned, hence the use of her pet name for me. She only broke that out when one of us was upset or she wanted to suck up to me.

"I don't remember." I said shaking my head, the whole night was starting to blur. "Something about having her big break in NYC, and not knowing anyone else but me." My voice was beginning to become slightly monotonous as I tried to block out the pain in my chest.

"That's bullshit!" I jumped at her sudden outburst. "Sorry. Its just bullshit. How the fuck could she do that to you? I'm calling her." Rosalie stood up off the ground and went for her phone before I could stop her. I was going to say don't, leave her alone, but then I realised, maybe somewhat childishly, that Rose might be able to get answers I couldn't. Alice and Rosalie were best friends after all.

Rosalie paced the living room with the phone to her ear as Emmett and I watched her from the floor.

"Yeah Alice, can we talk? Yeah, of course about him... Yeah... Yeah he found Emmett and me... Yeah at Emmett's place... No, he's not fucking okay!... No. No. For crying out loud Alice, that's bullshit and you know it... No, I'm not taking his side, your side just doesn't make any sense... Ya'know what, forget it. I'll talk to you when I'm not so pissed." Rosalie's voice rose throughout the conversation before she hung up and threw her phone at the couch before slumping down after it.

"I'm so sorry Jazzy, I really am... I had no idea she was planning this, or even thinking it. I swear, I would've said something if I did."

"I know you would've." My head felt heavy all of a sudden and all I wanted to do was sleep and hope to god when I woke up, this will all have been a nightmare. "Em, can I crash here? I'm just... I'm just really tired." My voice was as dreary and hopeless sounding as I felt.

"Yeah man, of course, you know where everything thing is for the guest room yeah?" Emmett questioned.

I nodded, and stood up from the floor. Emmett's place was like a second home to me, _other than hers_, it was the place I had stayed at the most when not at home.

As I made my way up the stairs, I could hear the faint whispers of my friend and sister behind me.

_"Holy shit Rose, what the fuck are we gonna do? Him and Ali, they were made for each other."_

_"I know, I can't believe it. How could she do this to him? This is going to be hell. I mean, they did everything together, she made him so happy, and now what-" _

I hurried to the guest room, not wanting to hear anymore, I didn't need to be reminded of what was now ahead of me. I thanked the fact that Emmett's mum, who was away on business for the weekend, had kept the guest bed made up as I collapsed onto the sheets. I didn't have it in me to keep myself standing straight anymore.

I needed her, I needed Alice.

This wasn't a case of not wanting to let go of something I was about to lose, no, I _needed _her. She was what kept me grounded, what kept me sane. She was my light.

And now she was gone, and I didn't know why.

_I just don't know anything but you Jasper! I'm almost nineteen and I've never been with anyone else! _

Her words came back to me and I wondered if really had just been too naïve to realise that I may been far more invested in our relationship than she had been. When had things changed for her? Or, what if they hadn't changed, what if she had never felt as strongly as I do, but I'd pushed her into it, making her feel as though she had to pretend to return those feelings so as not to hurt a friend?

God, my mind was running in circles. My eyes started to prickle again, but I was sick of crying, it achieved nothing but making me feel weak and stupid. In a heartbeat I was up off the bed with my hand on the doorknob. I couldn't hear Emmett or Rose downstairs anymore, and I hoped that meant they had given up talking about me behind my back and had gone to sleep. Before I really knew what I was doing, I was out the front door and on the pavement in front of Emmett's house, heading to a destination that I was yet to figure out. All I knew was that I had to get away from here, away from Rosalie and Emmett, away from the familiar memories in that house, and away from myself.

I wasn't sure how long I walked at that brisk determined pace before I slowed to take in my surroundings. I was headed out of town, for no other reason than to run away from every little piece of happiness that Forks had given me, all because of her. Every memory was tainted now, burning black in my mind and leaving a foul taste in my mouth. I couldn't decide whether to be angry or upset. I felt betrayed knowing that at some point she had stopped loving me, if she ever had at all. Every time I had been with her, everything we had shared now had a black mark because I didn't know if what she had said, what I thought she had felt had been real or if she was only pretending. I didn't understand how you could pretend to love someone for so long. I didn't understand how what I had thought we had had could've been only half real.

I hated her for doing this. I hated that she was choosing the city over me, and I hated that I couldn't really make myself hate her. I felt like I should be able to scream and swear and tell her that I never loved her either, and that I'm glad she's leaving, just so she wouldn't get to think she hurt me like this, but I can't. I love her. I love everything about her, her ambition, her perceptiveness. I love that she knows what she's wants out of life and isn't afraid to do anything she can to chase it down. I just always hoped that I would be the one standing by her side as she achieved everything she set out to achieve.

I continued to walk down the dark road, my path illuminated by the near-full moon. I wasn't sure what time it was, but I knew it was late, and that all reason stated that it was far to late to be walking the roads alone, even in a town as quiet as this one. After a few more minutes I came across a small path that lead through the trees and into the forest. I recognized it enough to know that it lead to a small river that ran through the forest, continuing through the town not too far from mine and Emmett's houses. I followed the path, relishing in the quietness of the night, down to the bank of the river, where flat stones lined the water's edge. I took a seat next the river and tried to be content listening the water flow through the forest, but all I could do was remember the times that Alice and I had gone hiking in the woods behind her house, setting ourselves up with an array of picnic food and enjoying the escape we found between the trees. Despite her overall 'girly-girl' persona, Alice loved to hike, and regularly took me to the places she would find along her travels. The forest became our place; somewhere that was secluded and private enough that for a moment we could pretend that we were the only two people for miles, and that all the stresses of reality didn't exists. When we were out there we didn't have to worry about college applications or grades, and I could momentarily forget about the cancer that was slowly killing my father.

But now even the forest had become hers, no longer an extension of the both of us, but rather a cruel reminder that she would surround everything in my life, even after she had packed up and gone. She had permeated every part of my daily life for nearly seven years, and I had no idea how I was supposed to find myself without her. Part of me wished that our relationship had gone sour, I wished that we had fallen out or grown apart, because at least then I would have something other than myself to blame for this. As it was the only reason I could muster was that I had held her back, and she couldn't allow me to do that anymore. If that was the case, then I kind of admired her strength for being able to rid herself of my dead weight. Maybe she really is better off without me. After all, I'm just a small town kid from Texas, who moved to an even smaller town and got stuck here. Every one I know is going off to do bigger things after high school, or they at least have a plan. Rosalie had gotten herself an apprenticeship at a mechanic in Seattle with hopes of opening her own garage some day; Emmett is off to UW to study architecture, and then there's me, whose grand plan is to keep working at the diner in order to give mama money for daddy's medical bills. Even after a year was up and I was going to move to New York I still didn't have any sort of plan other than to be with Alice. She was smart to cut her ties to me.

The cold night air nipped at my face as I sat by the water, and I pulled the light jacket I had on tighter around me, wishing I had brought something warmer. I knew I should head back the house instead of sulking out here in the dark, but I couldn't muster up the energy to stand, let alone walk back to town. Better that I freeze out here than go back to the pity that was waiting for me back home anyway. It wouldn't take long for word to spread of my break up, especially not in this town where gossip is like currency. I could already picture the looks of sympathy that I would see in my friend's eyes, and not to mention the rest of the town. Everyone at the diner loved Alice, and to them I'd either be the kid that had done something to her to earn being dumped, or the pathetic kid who got left behind. Neither possibility was one I was looking forward to.

I could feel fatigue start to settle deep in my bones and I shuffled myself up against a rock formation that sat next to the river and closed my eyes. I could feel the cold starting to sink in, so I resolved to stay here for just a little while longer in order to clear my head before heading back to Emmett's house.

Rustling somewhere to the right of me startled me enough to open my eyes, only to find that there was sunlight beginning to filter through the canopy of tree above me. I silent swore to myself for having fallen asleep and stretched out my stiff limbs. The movement brought back some heat to my body but I was suddenly all too aware of just how cold I was, and how much I wanted to be in my own bed. I stood up to make my way back home, making it half way down the path before reality started to stink in. The reason I was out here in the first place hit me like a freight train, and I stopped dead in my tracks. It took all I had not to sink to the ground where I stood when I remembered everything that had happened at the party last night, from unknowingly kissing my girlfriend for the last time as people wished her luck, to her tear-filled eyes as I left her sitting alone in the garden after she told me she didn't want me anymore. The memories flooded back all at once and I had to take a minute to regain composure before I could make myself walk again. The only thing that propelled me forward was the thought of crawling into my warm bed and never leaving.

When I made it back to the main road and out of the cover of the trees I could see that the sun was still fairly low in the sky, about 6am if I had to guess. There weren't many cars on this part of the road this early in the morning and the ones that were either ignored me or politely waved their greeting as they passed. I had walked further than I thought last night, meaning it would probably take me close to an hour to get back, and even though the walking helped a bit, I was still freezing my ass off, seeing as the wind had picked up slightly. To add insult to injury, about half an hour into my walk, it started to rain. It was only slightly more than a light drizzle, but it manage to soak through my jacket and shirt, leaving me shivering and alone as I made my way home. Fucking brilliant.

Finally after what seemed like hours I rounded on my neighbouhood, and was met with the sight of three cars parked in front of my house. One was Emmett's Wrangler, the other was a very familiar Volvo belonging to my now _ex_-girlfriend, and the other police that looked like Charlie Swan's. Crap. I honestly couldn't tell you whom I was less happy to see. I made a beeline for the side door, hoping I could slip in and up to my room without raising attention, but the second I crept inside I was pulled into a blonde embrace.

"Oh thank goodness you're alive, I was starting to seriously freak." Rosalie hung around my neck for about thirty seconds longer than she needed to, so I hugged her back in a silent apology for making her worry.

"Jasper Whitlock, you had me worried sick." Mama was next to hug me and further add to the guilt Rose enticed. "Look at you, your lips are blue and you're soaked! Oh baby, you must be freezing." She held me at arms length and I could see her that her eyes were bloodshot, like she'd been crying for a good while now.

"Well son, you gave us quite a scare, but I'm glad you're safe and sound." Charlie Swan sat at our dining table, his plaid shirt rumpled leading me to guess he'd thrown it on in a hurry. Charlie was an old friend of my dad's and had promised to take care of mama and us kids when dad had passed. I guess that includes sending out search and rescue when one of us has an impromptu sleepover in the middle of nowhere. Mama thanked Charlie for his help and offer to look for me before he left to get ready for work down at the station.

Once Charlie said his goodbyes and left, the tension in the room got thick as I finally looked in the direction of the one person I was hoping to avoid. Alice had sat silently in the living room throughout everyone's exchanges of relief and now looked like she was ready to bolt at any second. Well, if she wanted to leave then far be it from me to stop her. After apologizing again to Emmett and Rose for disappearing and assuring my mother that I wasn't hurt or anything, I rounded the banister of the stairs, heading for the bathroom upstairs in order to get out of these wet clothes and into a hot shower.

"Jazz…?" Alice's voice stopped me halfway up the stairs but I didn't turn around. I don't think I could look at her without completely breaking down.

"Why are you here, Alice?" My voice was only slightly more than a whisper and container far more hurt than I meant it to.

"Rose called me, she said you were missing. I was worried about you." To my left, Emmett, Rosalie and my mum had retreated to the kitchen, leaving Alice and I alone on the stairs, me still not facing her. "Jasper, please look at me? I just want to talk to you, I want to know you're okay."

The obvious concern in her voice tipped me over the edge and I spun around to look at her. "What's there to talk about Alice? No, I'm not fucking okay. I'm freezing and I'm tired. The last thing I want to do is talk to you." There was far more venom in my voice than I intended and the look on her face told me that my words stung. The truth is that the only thing I wanted right now was to take her up to my room and bury myself in her embrace and have her tell me that this was all a big mistake and everything was going to be okay. But that wasn't going to happen, so all I was left with is the anger over the fact that she is standing in front of me acting like she actually cares about what I'm feeling.

"Jazz, I-"

"Fucking save it Alice. You dumped me. You made it perfectly clear that you don't want me anymore, so you can drop the act. You don't have to pretend that you care about me anymore, because I know that you never loved me."

"I did love you! I _do_ love you, Jasper." Alice's voice wavered as if she was about to cry, and I knew I had to get out before that happened, because there was no way I could just stand to see her tears.

"Not enough."

And with that I turned on my heel and ran up the stairs to my bedroom, slamming the door before she could see just how much I was about to fall apart. I only just managed to keep myself together long enough to strip off my wet clothes and get into clean ones, forgoing the shower in favor of crawling in my bed and letting the tears I had built up flow freely. I was a crying heaving mess and I didn't care. The girl of my dreams didn't want me, and I had no idea how to even begin to come to grips with that, so I let myself sob until my head ached and my throat was raw, and then I let myself sleep in hopes that maybe I wouldn't wake up.


End file.
